Log in

wow.. been awhile

Pretty much I've migrated to http://jennasjustsayin.blogspot.com/ ... umm..... yea. 
What American accent do you have?
Your Result: The Midland

"You have a Midland accent" is just another way of saying "you don't have an accent." You probably are from the Midland (Pennsylvania, southern Ohio, southern Indiana, southern Illinois, and Missouri) but then for all we know you could be from Florida or Charleston or one of those big southern cities like Atlanta or Dallas. You have a good voice for TV and radio.

The West
North Central
The South
The Northeast
The Inland North
What American accent do you have?
Take More Quizzes

as requested....

I've been asked to type something here about how much I love my coworkers... D especially... even though he's a nappy headed little guppy. :P


Sooo.. haven't posted in awhile.

Things are not terrible. On the surface they're actually quite wonderful. I have some great things going on.. glowing review at work, a raise, a husband anyone would kill for, a great kid, I adore my home, ... hate my car, but I'll fix that.

Work is pretty ok. I'm doing what I like to do, which is to work on 50 things all at the same time, being under some pressure, and joking around with my co-workers. It's nice that I've been here long enough to be able to say what I want pretty much when I want and to be able to reveal my truly twisted sense of humor without getting that quizical *wtf* look. Even my boss gets into it at times. I've been asked to take over project management. This is something I can do, and I don't even mind doing it, but it does mean that I slip back into thinking everything is my responsibility. I do that pretty easily. Everything is my fault. heh. So having a position that requires everything be my fault is always a toughy. Ray has been asked to do some partime work here. That'll be neat, although I do worry about him getting annoyed with certain people here. It's funny when he's here, because he's so damn focused that he doesn't speak, which means I forget he's here. heh. I look up and am surprised to see hubbys head there at his desk. Chels, who can be a bit clingy, is mad as hell that he's coming in sometimes. She doesn't want both of us gone til 6ish and has gotten used to Ray being home earlier. That's both good and bad. It's nice she loves Ray so much, annoying because of course it's my responsibility to keep her entertained. Anyway.. work is pretty good. Hate the commute, but like the work. OH.. and I dispise my biggest client. The man is a cult leader and a total freak of nature. Rotten bastard, to boot.

We're planning on painting the living room. I'm looking forward to it. I've painted a few of the other rooms, and really have wanted to get to the living room (where we spend most of our time). SO we're going with a 'mexican' theme there. The Bedroom is an Indian/Morroccan theme, the dining area/nook is a library theme with strong red colors, I figure a nice mexican theme (not like taco bell mexican) would be nice. I would LOVE to go in and redo Chelsea's room.. but at 16 she's past the age of having mom surprise her with a bedroom redo.. especially since her walls are literally covered in posters, magazine clippings, band memorobilia.. Took her years to do it, she'd probably attempt to kick my ass if I took them all down on her. The kitties are all wonderful, as usual. I'm even getting used to Roxie Rotten. Lucy is sweet n old and my baby. Biddy just went to the vet cus she's so chunky, but they said she was fine (I don't really think she's fine though) Roxie is calming down and not such a terror. She adores Ray.. follows him, cries if he's not there, waits by the door for him. He's her person. My turtle is even doing well.. he's got a great new filter that has taken alot of my work with his tank away. Course, he still needs baths sometimes, which he hates, but I like the little fella.

What can I say? 8 months of marriage and it's still so perfect. Me, being anxiety nuts and 'catastrophising' everything, worries that it is so perfect. I worry he'll get sick or hurt or die. I don't worry he'll leave me. He's truly in love with me and is very happy with our little family. He and Chels are adorable together. Realy truly adorable. They love to hang out and be together and tease eachother. They'll poke at eachother and sit reading a comic strip with her head against his shoulder. He's happy to have a family, and happy to have a family that loves him to distraction. Of course, he's wonderful to me. Odd, isn't it? That I should live for so long married to someone who would give the Devil a run for his money.. damn miserable man.. only to figure out what was wrong and find someone who treats me not as a queen, or as a 'wife', but as me. He adores me, and is good to me, and tries to understand even when he doesn't understand my moods. I'm grateful to the powers that be that I was able to find someone like him.

Well. Bipolar sucks. That's pretty much all I can say. Here's the thing.. I don't think she's always trying to get better. I'm realizing that Chels may be extremely manipulative. Telling me and her doctors how hard she's working for things to be better, while all the while wallowing in her issues, using them, making them worse. She's the most self destructive person I've ever met... and relishes in it. I suppose she never actually has to try or fail if she's always trying to fail. Eh well. I swing between hopes that she'll open her eyes and realize what she could be, and perhaps being that... and realizing that there's a good chance she'll end up worse off than I was at my low point. She's been drinking.. she decided to tell me 'cus she didn't want to lie' any more. Bullshit is what I say. She uses my emotions like she uses tissues. If it's helpful she'll keep it, if not, fuck it, toss it away. But, again, that's her. Manipulative. I have a feeling she'll not have an easy life, but trying not to blame myself is hard. I know its all on her.. and the scary thing is I know that she won't step up to fix anything. She'll leave it to me. She'd love me to fix things, as long as she can hold onto her 'depression' and such to use as a shield when she's asked to do something she doesn't want to do. Way easier to sniffle and point to a medical problem than to actually get off your ass and do something constructive. eh. I'm bitter. I think I'm reaching the end of my rope. Soon I'll drop the 10 doctor visits a month and the medication that's supposed to 'help' and let her figure out things on her own. I don't want to lose her, but if she's hell bent on killing herself and being a dumbass, there's not much I can do to stop it. How long can I slam my head on a brick wall? I mean.. I did that for years with her father, and I didn't even really like him much.

We're talking about going to Jamaica! Oooh mygod I'd just die, I swear. Never did I think I'd get to go there.. yet we're actually pondering it. I'm SO trying not to push my husband into it, but I so SO want to go. It's hard not to jump on him and tell him 'That's where I want to go, Damnit!!', but I know how he would react to that. Manuvering my husband is like hearding cats... in a snowstorm... with a blindfold on. heh. He doesn't do what he doesn't want to do.. and he digs his heals WAY in if he feels he's being pushed towards something. (it's why I love him!)

Got put on Adderall for my ADHD. I adore it. The clarity I suddenly feel is almost scary! That and the fact that I have SO much energy is great! Got told I have generalized anxiety too.. cus I 'catastrophysize everything'. Yeah. I do that. hadn't realized it before, now I'm annoyed by it. Wish she hadn't told me. I thought everyone spend hours a day worrying over whos gonna die, when am I gonna get in an accident, if my kitty will die soon.. etc etc. OH.. and global war and virus type things, that sends me into a tizzy of worry that literally makes me feel ill. *sigh* damnit. Damn my family's twisted genes all to hell.

Not much else.. sort of getting through at the moment :) Figured I should let people know how things are since I only ever write once every 6 months or so.

My Place :)

Ok.. there are a bunch of pictures behind the cut. I'm warning you so I don't get any emails saying "Sheesh.. too many pictures". Just like the fact that there can never be too much cake, there can never be too many pictures :P

Come into my home..Collapse )

survey thingy

Haven't done one of these in along time!

clickyCollapse )

Wedding Photos!!

Okie dokie... finally had some time to put together a little wedding photo album. Eventually I'll get all the pictures up, and add a honeymoon photo album too.

fa la la..


I'm all hitched n' stuff!

It's right before I have to leave for work, but I wanted to get this photo up!

clickyCollapse )

My Fairy Garden...

I've decided to make fairy garden centerpieces for my wedding! These are so much fun to make. So much so, that I'm planning on having a 'make one yourself' table at the wedding. I'll put out all the ingredients and some terra cotta planter saucers and let people have their own fun :)

lots'o fairy goodness here..Collapse )

I haven't done one of these in ages....

Stolen from pancake_meow

click here to see scary stuffCollapse )